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@MedeaVanamonde @TheBreadmonkey
Penguin Smegma is an Aphex Twin side-project you can't fool me
@MedeaVanamonde @TheBreadmonkey just boosting this, no need to check the context
@TheBreadmonkey I wanted him coming down my chimney and emptying his bulging sack all over my living room to be as innocent as it used to be when I was a kid. Why do they have to make everything sexy now.
@TheBreadmonkey
Santa's candy cane has been down every chimney.
@TheBreadmonkey candy-cane me, Daddy Christmas.
@TheBreadmonkey
Is this a threat?
sorry, santa, but I'm gonna give away your secret . . .
@TheBreadmonkey eeeew, peppermint crisps? 🤢
@TheBreadmonkey oh god did santa wank in the tube
@TheBreadmonkey @zalasur a few years ago, I developed a habit of pressing one nostril whenever I raised a pint of cider to my face.
No, it was not cocaine.
Why is Christmas so sexual?
@TheBreadmonkey More importantly, why does Coca Cola push so hard at Christmas? It is a most unchristmassy drink.
@TheBreadmonkey Men with warm chestnuts, possibly.
@TheBreadmonkey Santa knows who's naughty, he keeps a list
@TheBreadmonkey Did you see the snowman's cream pies?
@TheBreadmonkey Mary didn't get pregnant all by herself. Chestnuts. Open fires. Things of that nature.
@TheBreadmonkey cinnamon flavored ejaculate
Cardboard.
Out-of-date cardboard. From early September, when the cartons appeared near the till in my local Sainsbury's.
On the plus side: they're legally obliged to use non-hydrogenated vegetable oil when frying the cardboard granules into secret shapes. Or something.
@TheBreadmonkey