Just discovered the Table Manners podcast and Jessie Ware 100% wants to bang James Acaster
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@TheBreadmonkey I tell you this as a dear friend, this is the most ‘Bruh’ post you’ve ever written
@TheBreadmonkey Jessie Ware’s messy hair.
I'm not going to break into Jessie Wares house
I don't even know where she lives
If anyone knows Jessie Ware please let them know I am incredibly awkward and also can't lie. I'm not in it for the sex - I just want someone to look at me like that while I ramble. Or just in any situation really. Although once we build a rapport and I learn to trust her, I might be persuaded into the sex. But honestly I think I just want to hang out in her kitchen with her and her mum. Also I very much like her hair. Confusing after what I said earlier. I just think she probably smells terrific. Please don't let the takeaway from this be that I want to break into Jessie Wares house and smell her hair. And/Or her mums. Who 100% smells amazing. I just want to sniff their hair IS THAT SO WRONG. This is a joke (it's 100% not a joke) please don't kill me.