My wife had been on at me for years to "manscape" and shave my pubes. Finally gave in but used hair removal cream as didnt want to risk a razor down there. The wife now won't go near me as my penis apparently resembles Cyril Sneer from the 80s cartoon The Raccoons.
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@fesshole
The answer is a merkin.
@fesshole I wonder if there's more to this story, and if maybe his wife's requests have been a response to similar constant demands from him? If so he's really done this to himself.