41 year old senior manager. When my wife stays away for the night, I build a fort out of her pillows and sleep in it so I'm safe. The dogs think I'm nuts.
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How many pillows does OP's wife have? You'd need at least 8 to build a fort, wouldn't you?
@fesshole
Don’t worry, dogs have no idea about safety when you’re home on your own. You’re doing everything right.