If you asked any of those guys directly about when their kids were little, they probably would be practically weeping with gratitude towards their wife, talking about how amazing she is and how hard she worked.
But subconsciously it's out of sight out of mind!
It's not their fault, it's the programming they got since they were boys
Since it's not their fault, make it impossible for this flavor of sexism to happen by setting up interviewing and hiring processes that remove the possibility
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It is unnerving that if my colleagues get too distracted and careless I'm the one who pays for it, so I'm not being "aw poor guys have it so bad!" Fuuuck me the effort, the care, the tedious and endless self advocacy I have had to engage in just to exist and MAKE THE COMPANY MONEY like im doin u a favor just being here
but it ain't a user issue, it's a UX issue
When I've gotten on this soap box before, pushback I've gotten is "designing software development processes that work around sexist biases lets men off the hook! men should not have sexist biases at all!"
ok so you propose...?
"the only real solution is a society in which-"
they can budget a fancy coffee machine with buttons n shit as furniture and get a tax write off finance aint gonna approve my equipment request for A NEW SOCIETY
maybe if i hit em with it right at the start of the quarter
objection: companies should simply not hire men with sexist biases
okay but they do
objection: men should do the work of fixing their own sexist biases
okay but they dont
objection: designing software development processes that work around sexist biases lets men off the hook
okay but im here to make software not PURGE THE SIN FROM THE HEARTS OF MEN holy shit
the tragic truth is that nearly all men (and some women!) have subconscious beliefs that women are less intelligent, less competent, should be subordinate, etc etc etc. But nearly all the men I've worked with do not consciously believe these things. They know these are patriarchical lies and genuinely desire to see women excel in tech. (There are some malicious freaks but that's a topic for another thread)
More "don't do a sexism" isn't the solution because they already don't want to do a sexism