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First, thank you to everyone for your patience with this somewhat ridiculous poll. I know I have a goofy sense of humour, and that sometimes I ask unserious questions in a serious way. I understand that this can be off-putting to some people. I appreciate your indulgence.
As I mentioned elsewhere, for some reason in the last couple of weeks of the election cycle Donald Trump started talking about candidates' asses. I think it started as a weird tangent, but as usual he doubled down on it.
@evan I think heβs actually gay. Strange fixations on menβs body parts.
It seems dumb and embarrassing. I would be so mad if I only got 1 or 2 presidential appearances during my campaign and the weirdo in chief talked about how much my rippling meat muffins aroused feelings in him he had not dealt with before.
I want to think that ass quality doesn't matter, but on further reflection I'm not sure. Being attractive helps with election results, although not as much as you'd think. Just a few percentage points, according to the studies I could find. All the studies I found were face-focused; afaict nobody has done a political ass analysis. It might be unscientific to extrapolate.
A couple of confounding factors: tv viewers rarely see you except from the shoulders up. Even in the debates, there aren't a lot of ass shots.
Most of the people who stand behind you on stage are other politicians. (That's where Trump first saw Husted's.) So maybe it helps with endorsements.
Could a good ass help politicians do their job better after being elected? I'm not sure. There is a lot of sitting involved, so maybe the right shape and size can make that process more comfortable.
@evan Well, Molotov was called "the stone ass" because he could sit in meetings until everybody else was totally exhausted and accepted any decision just to get out of there. So maybe it is something you can need as a politician?
https://novayagazeta.ru/articles/2010/11/29/463-vtoroy-chelovek-imperii-on-zhe-kamennyy-zad
@evan
You can have the hottest backside in the world, but Republicans get negative points in the hot asses category for regularly voting to take my rights.
I just don't fuck with fascists. Even if they're pretty, it'll never end well for me.
@evan please add a category of WHAT THE HELL ARE WE EVEN DOING HERE.
@quinn hey, I have been thinking about you! Have you been out to the protests at all? I've been wondering if you would write about it.
@evan I wrote about the earlier one, but I've been sick and that's slowed me down (some more recent pictures) https://emptywheel.net/2026/10/20/la-france-beats-her-children/.
4 media files
@quinn excellent, thank you!
@evan No, butt...
@evan A good ass has to hang off of something else and not be the entirety of the personality.
@evan
Is this a donkey against elephant thing?
@evan no but also I don't care to check
@floatybirb Nate Silver did a data-driven analysis on 538.com
@evan no but the republican party runs more asses as candidates.
@evan No, but I definitely want to see their asses walking out the door.
@jackgangi Don't let it hit ya where the Good Lord split ya!
@brooke I resisted this impulse!
This poll is almost done and I have a bunch of work to do, so I am going to give my answer now.