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First, thank you to everyone for your patience with this somewhat ridiculous poll. I know I have a goofy sense of humour, and that sometimes I ask unserious questions in a serious way. I understand that this can be off-putting to some people. I appreciate your indulgence.
As I mentioned elsewhere, for some reason in the last couple of weeks of the election cycle Donald Trump started talking about candidates' asses. I think it started as a weird tangent, but as usual he doubled down on it.
@evan I think he’s actually gay. Strange fixations on men’s body parts.
It seems dumb and embarrassing. I would be so mad if I only got 1 or 2 presidential appearances during my campaign and the weirdo in chief talked about how much my rippling meat muffins aroused feelings in him he had not dealt with before.
I want to think that ass quality doesn't matter, but on further reflection I'm not sure. Being attractive helps with election results, although not as much as you'd think. Just a few percentage points, according to the studies I could find. All the studies I found were face-focused; afaict nobody has done a political ass analysis. It might be unscientific to extrapolate.
A couple of confounding factors: tv viewers rarely see you except from the shoulders up. Even in the debates, there aren't a lot of ass shots.
Most of the people who stand behind you on stage are other politicians. (That's where Trump first saw Husted's.) So maybe it helps with endorsements.
Could a good ass help politicians do their job better after being elected? I'm not sure. There is a lot of sitting involved, so maybe the right shape and size can make that process more comfortable.
Anyway, the poll is whether Republicans are winning on the ass question. I think not. I can think of a lot of Democratic Party candidates with nice bods. Abdul El-Sayed clearly works out and has really good muscle mass on his upper body, but I can't find a rear shot of him. He doesn't seem like a guy who would skip Leg Day, though.
Also, there's not just one kind of good butt. À chacun son propre goût. There's a rainbow of sizes and shapes and textures of Congressional ass out there to discover.
@evan
You can have the hottest backside in the world, but Republicans get negative points in the hot asses category for regularly voting to take my rights.
I just don't fuck with fascists. Even if they're pretty, it'll never end well for me.
@evan please add a category of WHAT THE HELL ARE WE EVEN DOING HERE.
@quinn hey, I have been thinking about you! Have you been out to the protests at all? I've been wondering if you would write about it.
@evan I wrote about the earlier one, but I've been sick and that's slowed me down (some more recent pictures) https://emptywheel.net/2026/10/20/la-france-beats-her-children/.
4 media files
@quinn excellent, thank you!
@evan No, butt...
@evan A good ass has to hang off of something else and not be the entirety of the personality.
@evan
Is this a donkey against elephant thing?
@evan no but also I don't care to check
@floatybirb Nate Silver did a data-driven analysis on 538.com
@evan no but the republican party runs more asses as candidates.
@evan No, but I definitely want to see their asses walking out the door.
@jackgangi Don't let it hit ya where the Good Lord split ya!
@brooke I resisted this impulse!
This poll is almost done and I have a bunch of work to do, so I am going to give my answer now.