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- Yes, you can run your own mail server on a cheap VPS (Virtual Private Server)
- Yes, it's cheap. €5/month for a VPS and €10/year for your own domain, if you take a .eu
- Yes, you should configure SPF, DKIM, DMARC
- Yes, with that in place Google, Microsoft and other big providers will accept your emails
- Yes, you can manage incoming spam in effective and automated ways
- Yes, all Open Source.
- No, it doesn't need a lot of admin work, 5 min/day
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@jwildeboer I would add monitoring (system readiness, blocklist entries...) to that list. It's nice to know early when something is wrong.
And for everyones popcorn consumption: I disagree with the big ones accepting your mail if you do everything correctly. I've had especially Microsoft block my server out of nowhere, and the error reasons given were extremely unhelpful. If it's just you using the server, it's no big deal. But if family and friends are using it as well, it's annoying. And certainly always at a very inconvenient time. And give your server some "bake-in" time. New servers are punished for being new by some ranking systems. Bring it up and running for some time and use it for non-important domains before moving your important ones. And have fun.