Small story time. I really wanted to be in class with a group of people. I joined an online course for guitar. The more I tried to participate and lean into the course, the more inadequate I felt. My creativity started drying up because I felt overwhelmed by the theory and technical skill I did not have. I noticed this and left the course. Continued below-
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@ambergrey We all learn in different ways.
I also learn primarily by doing. If I need a new skill to achieve a goal, I'm inclined just to dive in and, when I get stuck, go looking for the information I'm missing.
Without the goal I'm not motivated to learn things for the sake of learning them. It sounds as if you're similar.