@jalefkowit starts the countdown to when we eventually find out all the fibers in the watersupply crosslink into a single enormous ice-nine fiber when exposed to gamma radiation / some random flocculant / industrial pollutant
@jalefkowit these are actually apparently really good. There’s a dry cleaner dude on TikTok/youtube who likes these — they work well, you can easily cut them in half for small loads, and they’re good for the environment because you’re not hauling around huge jugs of mostly water.
"Unlike traditional detergents where surfactants are dissolved in water (liquids) or carried by fillers (powders), Tide evo spins surfactants into fibers which maximizes the active presence of cleaning ingredients, enabling a highly concentrated form of detergent. The fiber design is engineered with a soluble structurant that creates channels allowing water to quickly enter upon contact, rapidly dissolving and instantly activating the cleaning power."
https://tide.com/en-us/our-commitment/tide-evo/press-release
@jalefkowit What flavor are the new pods?
Oh, do fuck off
@jalefkowit I'm so happy these people have been replaced by statistical word appender machines.
Also because I'll have less qualms about burning said machines down.
@jalefkowit I wonder if they just quoted the focus group questionnaire verbatim or if they just asked ChatGPT to write what a focus group would have said. Who the fuck uses “innovative” in casual conversation
@jalefkowit Sounds like magical PFAS or some other plastic derivative to give it a "look" that marketers love to write copy about.
@jalefkowit stain fighters, whiteners, brighteners and fresheners... Oh right, CHEMICALS.
Because everything is chemicals. (Tim Minchin voice: "EVERYTHING IS CHEMICALS!")
@jalefkowit Q: Are We Not Men?
A: Tide evo
@jalefkowit Oooh, I'll have to try these. I never liked how the pods would burst in your teeth like a cherry tomato.
@jalefkowit Tide Olive Oil Packets
@cwebber For people who complained the pods were not giving them enough roughage
@jalefkowit cheaper than a laundry airtag
@jalefkowit Looks like Tide has moved on from gummies to cookies?