Whenever I propose something in a meeting and I’m either dismissed or "ignored" by the higher ups only to have them "propose" the same idea shortly after, it takes all of my self control to not screenshot the timestamped text from when I proposed the same idea along with a congratulatory message like "Good idea, Todd!"
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I know someone who'd say this every time that happened...
"I'm curious, Todd, how does your idea differ from mine a few minutes ago? Can we compare to make sure we're on the same page? Let's make sure you haven't missed any of my thoughts (u hoary bastard)"
But don't say the last part.
@Alice @lisamelton You should tho. 100%
@Alice
"Just a quick note to thank you for championing my initiative from last week Todd. I appreciate the support"
is perfectly acceptable.
@Alice I feel like something similar used to happen to me at work.
Usual pattern was me sharing my world-class idea. Then the discussion around the table rolled on and on and on while other ideas/proposals got discussed til almost lunchtime. Finally somebody would say what I had brought up and most everyone thought it was pretty good, pulling together all the best ideas.
I put it down to my being an introvert and not grabbing the spotlight. And that the rest of the department was just a little slow. I didn't need the credit because I didn't want to be talked with implementing the thing.
So, not the same, just slightly similar maybe.
@Alice Someone I used to work for would tell a female colleague who suggested *anything* that it wouldn't work and was a stupid suggestion.
A week later he would "suggest' that he had come up with it and it was a great idea.
Myself and the other male colleagues always said "But you said that was a stupid idea that would never work when Sue suggested it last week! What's changed?"
He got the message.
Happened to me at DSA meetings. After a few meetings like this I called them out. The men were bewildered & certain I was imagining it. Until a trans member spoke up & had my back 100%. They saw it too.
@Alice
Are you tired of being ignored or dismissed at work? Ask your doctor if being a white cis male is right for you!
@Alice they're good ideas, brent
"Smart thinking, Brandt! That's why they pay you the big bucks!"
But the reality is that I don’t care about receiving credit nearly as much as I care about having the idea implemented in general, so I continue rolling with it.
@Alice You should care about the credit - because it means people might listen to you in the future, and not listen to the person who stole it.
And that makes everything better.
@Alice I have 2 books you may find good for this situation, handling misuse of power from different angles. However I’m in no position to give any advice to you in your case.
- Marshall Rosenberg: Non-Violent Communication, also known as NVC, and
- Berit Ås, a Norwegian politician who wrote many books on the subject “Master suppression techniques”, ie. ways just like in your case other get credit of your ideas after the ideas have been ignored when you proposed them, and many other similar tactics.
@Alice listen, it may be time to pull that weiner out and lay it on the conference table so everyone in the room can see how big yours really is. 🧚
@Alice "Oh yes, like I said two weeks ago, you thieving PoS with no original ideas."
It drives me mad when this happens. It is so demeaning. In my last job, we as a team would suggest things, and they would be dismissed, only to have someone realise a year later that the idea was a good one.
Management need to fucking listen to the people doing the work and hear their ideas properly. Pure managers never come up with good ideas. They always steal.