Discussion
I read The Anxious Person's Guide to Non-Monogamy after having it on my book pile for years.
It's not wrong but it focuses a lot on people who want to open up an existing relationship. That's something I have never done so I can't speak to it much.
It does cover a lot of basics though.
There wasn't anything new in it for me, which after over a decade of practicing non-monogamy And reading a few other books before, isn't surprising.
Overall I think it's fine as a first book to read on non-monogamy and polyamory, especially if you're the target audience of people trying to open up an existing monogamous relationship, which I am just not.
@aesthr My experience of knowing people who experimented with "open marriage" in the 1970s was that it always seemed that one person was coercing their spouse into it. None of those marriages lasted very long.
@aesthr random sidenote: it's really refreshing to read an opinion of someone on something just saying: "this is not for me" rather than "this is generally bad and you're not allowed to like it". I've never been a super judgy person in matters of personal taste but you're among a few people who I've seen actively examining that question and I never really did that myself (at least not intentionally) and it's a thing I'm now trying to do more often. so thanks for this rather simple but helpful way of thinking :)
My main criticism is that it doesn't actually talk about anxiety much, and the specific things a brain with chronic anxiety tends to do.
It's mainly general advice and just states that anxiety can make things more difficult. (Yeah, no shit)
It's also very much rooted in cognitive behaviorist psychology, and very symptom-oriented. It doesn't invite you to explore WHY you have certain complicated feelings, only how to handle them, and only on a quite superficial level.