Me, as a doctor: (performing major, delicate, life-threatening surgery, blood up to my elbows, organs everywhere) "Nurse, apply maximum pressure to this bandage while I step away to quickly write this banger shitpost I just thought of"
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(ponders if one could get a baby calf with vertigo down a staircase)
You can tell the above is fictional because I have the grace and coordination of a baby calf with severe vertigo.