I have this friend, I’ve mentioned her before - she had a cat colony in her backyard, and at some point a cat rescue came, started trapping the cats to fix them and find them homes. She took it very personally, insisting the cats were absolutely fine and acting like they’d stolen “her” cats.

She flooded them with messages about a specific cat she was bonded to, created fictional scenarios that they would be selling the cat on the Dark Web (I swear, she said that), and they eventually got back to her to say: yeah the cat needs some vet care and will be put up for adoption. She said she desperately wanted the cat please give her cat back.

So they got back, and told her the cat was diagnosed with asthma but was otherwise fine. She changed her mind and said that no, she doesn’t want an unhealthy cat. At this point I think the cat rescue people must be pretty angry at her, I would.

So she’s been bonding with one of the cats they TNR’d to her backyard, and keeps asking me questions about bringing a cat home. I explained the basics but I feel like she keeps extrapolating the scenarios as to justify not bringing the cat inside - what if the cat destroys my plants and damages my furniture?

I am pretty tired of this drama and I told her in a very nice way that she should think if she’s ready to own a cat. The colony is one thing, but cat ownership is a different game - you need to deal with veterinary responsibilities, the cat potentially damaging things in your home and being extremely selective about which plants you own so the cat doesn’t die.

I think some people like the idea of playing with cats but they don’t like the responsibility of having one - it’s an important distinction. I love playing with dogs but would never own a dog. I just have to deal with the fact that there are no dogs in my life.

So now she is sending me pictures of “how she misses how it used to be” when the colony was full of abandoned homeless cats. Eh.