If you ask someone a question on the Fediverse, and they answer it, do you owe them an acknowledgment?
#EvanPoll #poll #Fediquette #Etiquette #Fediverse #Netiquette
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@evan
Yes, itβs desirable to see a reaction. In the Fediverse, there can be a sense of lonelinessβeven though a user isnβt actually aloneβbut since users arenβt telepathic, they canβt always tell whether their comments have been read by like-minded people.
Also, a lot of people got hung up on the word "owe". I feel like it's a pretty common term -- "I owe you an apology" -- but the idea that social interactions incur obligations seems like a more controversial one than I thought. I'll try to come up with a different phrasing.
Thanks to everyone who responded and replied. My answer is yes.
@evan
Next poll. Is a star an acknowledgement?
@evan Yes, but a collective thanks is ok if there were too many answers to acknowledge individually.
@evan
Also, a shout out to everyone who actually responds to questions instead of chewing my face off to just Google it myself. You're the real MVPs of the internet.
I just personally would rather ask a person a question and hear what they think about it than ask the machine.
@evan Assuming that the answer was provided with the intent of being helpful, then certainly yes. My point of view is that it is a common courtesy to thank someone for helpfulness.
@ehushagen what if it wasn't to be helpful, but did take a lot of work? "Why does your software work such and such a way?"
@evan An ack can be just the "heart", which for me, often means "I read it, thanks".
@evan That's the problem with a question like this, even the "X but..." answers have caveats. If someone answers a question in a helpful friendly way, I don't OWE them a reply but I always do with a thank you or at least a heart.
But, as it this the Fediverse, there are always bad faith replies and in no way do I owe them a reply in any way, shape, or form.
@scottjenson in the physical world, if you asked someone for directions on the street, and they answered, even if they said "I don't know", surely you wouldn't just turn on your heels and walk away without a comment? You'd say, "Thanks anyways" or "OK" or something?
@evan But that's not the right analogy. If someone on the street gives me an odd answer, I agree with you and I'd say thank you anyway.
But if I asked them a question and they starting attacking my character, well then no, I wouldn't thank them. There are many times in the Fediverse that people respond in a way that is inappropriate and angry or very much not nice so no, I don't owe them a reply at all.
@evan @scottjenson
On a related note, I enjoyed David Graeberβs book Debt, the First 5,000 Years.
He spends a lot of time reviewing the many notions debt, owing, obligation across many cultures across millennia, including the notion that someone brought into this world might not owe anything to anyone and also they might have a debt to society that no one can repay.
Itβs a social concept and so no one has the final say on it in any particular case.
@evan you have 59 voters to acknowledge, so far
@evan Yes but I have to have explicitly asked question rather than just be venting about something or engaged in sarcasm.
@evan no, but I try to anyway, and I think it's nice to do so. I'm interpreting "owe" here as an obligation rather than a looser point of preferred etiquette. If it were the latter, I would say "yes, but...". If someone doesn't acknowledge my answer, it could be either rudeness/entitlement or just their understandable distraction or focus on a task at hand. Either way, it doesn't really bother me, even if a thank-you is nice.
@evan No one "owes" anyone anything.
@tripplehelix I feel like I've fallen through a looking glass into libertarian land.
We have social connections to people all around us. We owe people who do good things for us, and we owe people who love us. We owe people who teach us. We owe people just because they are humans and deserve to be treated well.
@evan It's an etiquette thing rather than like a law of the universe.
I appreciate acknowledgement and try to give it but it's definitely "best effort" rather than compulsory. I'm super understanding of "I got my answer and moved on to the next task without pausing to say anything". My brain runs away with me more than I'd like too.
@evan
No, but it's usually nice if you do acknowledge them.
@evan I think that 'owe' doesn't come into it. You don't 'owe' unless an exchange has been agreed as fair. In that vein I think it is generally polite to thank someone for their reply on the assumption that it helps you or you gain some benefit from it which you did not previously have access to.